People are shallow....

If you use Google, you're no doubt familiar with the feature of auto-complete. Begin typing your query into the search box and it suggests options of what you may be searching for. Here's what I found when I began typing my query (I got no further than the word "is"):



These our the World's burning questions. And people wonder why the World is falling apart....

Just a thought

More and more lately, I realize that Reagan was right when he said: "It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."

They are NOT the same thing!

I'm working on a complicated proceeding for Widget Co., and it involves attempting settlement of a case we filed with our Federal regulator. Part of the settlement process (we're just getting started) involves emailing with all parties (they're called "intervenors" and it's all of them against us) to hammer out certain logistical issues before we start discussing the actual meat of the case.

After emailing the intervenors Widget Co.'s position on an issue (a position that they were NOT happy to hear), I waited for a reply. What I got was a reply to all.

Instead of the intervenors emailing just each other, they hit reply to all and forgot to remove Widget Co.'s attorneys and business people from their list. Duh. All sorts of nasty sniping went back and forth, all aimed at yours truly. They called me a creep! Actually, that was directed at all of us here, but ... really?? Emails landed in my inbox in at the rate of 1 a minute, discussing the strategy of how to respond to what I had stated. I vacillated between being really annoyed and really amused. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and let them know that we were still on their distribution list.

Ladies and gentlement who represent the intervenors: Please turn in your State Bar cards and your Attorney-at-Law business cards. "Reply" does not equal "Reply to All." You are too dumb to practice law.

Why didn't my mother tell me this would happen?

We have commercials and ads for everything nowadays. Ever get that not-so-fresh feeling? (Massingill) Feeling bloated and irritable because of your period? (Midol) Ever gotten a leak when you're wearing white pants? (Always) Afraid you might have gotten pregnant last night and want to get rid of it? (Plan B) Did you know you can mix two personal lubricants and get a more amazing result? (KY) Do you have fine lines and wrinkles? (Olay) Need to get rid of stretch marks? (Strivectin)

Nothing is too personal anymore, nothing is taboo for TV commercials, magazine articles, or "news" stories, right? Nothing? I think not.

If we live in such an open society where we can talk about all of the above, why are there still things we have to learn about by experiencing them? I'll give you my favorite example. I'm 38. About 5 years ago, my eyebrows started disappearing from above my eyes and reappearing on my chin. I thought: "I'm a freak!" I thought that I had some serious hormonal condition. I couldn't tell anyone, show anyone.... People would ostracize me!! I'd be a societal outcast!! I'd end up as the bearded lady in a traveling circus.

Now, I know living in Los Angeles, home of any plastic surgery you could imagine (did you know some men get calf implants?) has tarnished my view of what is "normal." However, imagine my surprise when I gave up caring what people thought and started mentioning it to other women my age -- they had the same concerns!! I have a friend whose entire chin is covered in a beard if she doesn't shave it! I went to have electrolysis done and found out that it's incredibly common for women to grow facial and neck hair (always darker and coarser than their regular hair)! Another friend even shared with me that she grows the occasional long dark hair on her nipples!! I'm not a freak!!

But why -- why??? -- in a world of 24/7 douche, tampon and stretch mark commercials -- isn't this talked about? I've mentioned it to several women who also feel that no one else but them suffers from this! Shouldn't Oprah be covering this or something? What about all the "beauty" mags -- what better way to make a woman feel she's not ugly than by letting her know she's not alone?

Ok, off my soapbox. If you're a woman starting to grow beard hairs, there's nothing wrong with you. Even the occasional nipple hair isn't bizarre. It's normal. But why didn't anyone tell us?

Do you have any "why didn't my mother tell me this would happen to me?" items? Let's all share so we all know we're not freaks!

Sneaky, sneaky....

Over the weekend, while visiting friends in my home state, I got a new cell phone. It was time. Mine only stayed charged for a day or so, and it had always had charging issues (the cord had to be in juuuuuust right for it to charge -- bump it, and it would fail). I spent about 40 minutes at the Verizon store looking at the different phones, and finally picked the one I liked the best. It had a $50 mail-in rebate as part of the offer. Checking out took for freakin' ever! The mouth-breather who was helping me moved like a snail (he also never -- not once -- closed his mouth -- I guess thought he'd suffocate). I wasn't even in a particular hurry, but he was so absurdly slow I almost pounded him!

Then I got home and got my rebate email. The instructions were to mail the signed and dated rebate form to Verizon, along with my proof of purchase, and I'd get a rebate in about a month. What I almost didn't notice -- what they are counting on people NOT to notice -- is that, unless you affirmatively check and change your address, the rebate goes to the Verizon store! Now, Verizon bills come to my house, so I'm pretty sure Verizon has my address. In fact, the store clerk even verified my address!

There is no non-nefarious reason for substituting the store's address for mine. Very, very, sneaky! I know that the phone companies do the "rebate" thing rather than just give a discount because they are counting on a large percentage of the population losing their paperwork or just forgetting. That's sneaky enough, but come on!! Seriously? Sending the rebate to yourself? That's just evil.

I blame the "Can you hear me now?" guy. Personally.